i kept waking up startled, in shock and "jumpy" lately.
and yes, today is just like any other day. except that i didn't wake up in extreme shock because of the nightmares i kept getting. this time it was for real - a friend lost her dearest dad. THAT my friend, is the worst nightmare for anyone who's studying abroad! don't you think so? *tears*
death and i; we don't get along really well. deep inside i know that everyone will die someday, it's just the matter of time - but i still can't handle it. it's one of the major factors why i refused to take medicine as my career. i get deeply affected by it, become depressed and emotional. at one point, i felt that it was such a waste investing your feelings on human being yang sangat fragile, yang akan mati.
having personally experienced the taste of death of my loved one when i was 15, i honestly admit that it wasn't an easy journey towards recovery. you might think the scene where hillary swank called her own voicemail to listen to gerard butler's voice sgt pathetic but that's what happen when you missed someone THAT bad. i sat by the phone, waiting for it to ring. i checked it once in a while, just incase it's not working properly. but it never rings again - well, not from her.
((loooooong pause, inhale, exhale))
i'm sorry for your loss, dear missyN. and it's ok to cry, to weep...just let it out of the chest. but remember that everything happens for a reason. Allah loves him more and has now placed him in a better place. insyallah. there will come days when you longed for him, think of him, miss him dearly - then recite some prayer for him. most importantly, remember that you have all of us. you do have friends that care... *hugs*
.....once in a while, i do wonder how life would be IF she's still here instead of there? tak elok, i know, but i can't help it. i.am.only.human.
and yes, today is just like any other day. except that i didn't wake up in extreme shock because of the nightmares i kept getting. this time it was for real - a friend lost her dearest dad. THAT my friend, is the worst nightmare for anyone who's studying abroad! don't you think so? *tears*
death and i; we don't get along really well. deep inside i know that everyone will die someday, it's just the matter of time - but i still can't handle it. it's one of the major factors why i refused to take medicine as my career. i get deeply affected by it, become depressed and emotional. at one point, i felt that it was such a waste investing your feelings on human being yang sangat fragile, yang akan mati.
having personally experienced the taste of death of my loved one when i was 15, i honestly admit that it wasn't an easy journey towards recovery. you might think the scene where hillary swank called her own voicemail to listen to gerard butler's voice sgt pathetic but that's what happen when you missed someone THAT bad. i sat by the phone, waiting for it to ring. i checked it once in a while, just incase it's not working properly. but it never rings again - well, not from her.
((loooooong pause, inhale, exhale))
i'm sorry for your loss, dear missyN. and it's ok to cry, to weep...just let it out of the chest. but remember that everything happens for a reason. Allah loves him more and has now placed him in a better place. insyallah. there will come days when you longed for him, think of him, miss him dearly - then recite some prayer for him. most importantly, remember that you have all of us. you do have friends that care... *hugs*
.....once in a while, i do wonder how life would be IF she's still here instead of there? tak elok, i know, but i can't help it. i.am.only.human.
5 comments:
Ash...
I cried reading your post.
Losing someone you love is not easy.
Anyway, takziah to your friend.
very sorry for ur friend, wads more just b4 fathers' day. my condolences for her.
u arent the only person that can get along with death, i would think that most ppl like myself cant deal with it too (unless its some big time criminal or serial rapist+murderer)
we r only human, but that doesnt mean we cant control how we feel. mourn for the lost of the past, but sooner or later we have to pick up n move on with life.
::idrina::
...coping with death is never easy. i hope she'll be strong. thanks id!
::helen::
thanks amoi....i guess time will heal everything.
hi ash
thanks for the thought and support, truly appreciate it ^_^, may allah bless u always.
insyallah things will get better in time.
do take care yea ^_^
lots of love hugs n kisses
**hugs back ibu**
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